It's been a while...

since i made a new entry... i guess i've been busy doing other stuff. work was killing me, ahh the pressures of a not so high paying job. ironic, but being an optimist(for now), i say "just charge this to experience", mumble some profane innuendo to myself and continue on.

nothing to really write about last weeks happenings at work. just the usual code monkey stuff, tapping my keyboard for code that sometimes even i don't understand. at this point i must say that the project i've mentioned a few posts back, the one that i've been bleeding and frying brain cells for since december, has finally been finished. big whoop? not! i guess i'll still be working on it until it runs smoothly, so back to the debugging board.

holy it's 3am? i glance at my pc's clock and grin as i see the date, january 22, a week to go and then is payday again! i'lll finally get some cash to add to my fish tank budget. maybe i'll go meet up with the tank dealers this week and give them the specs for my aquarium. loft's nearly 18 inches now and his old tank is getting to small for him.

the five working days flew past by quickly, and i'm thankful i survived forty five butt flattening hours of staring at my pc and debugging that evil payroll project. saturday came and it was back to the lab back at school for my class. only five of my students showed up, and four submitted their projects for checking.

here's something nice, i finally got some spare time and i got to go out with a very good friend of mine. kitty and i had a lot of catching up to do, so we decided to meet up and grab a bite to eat. the first plan was to get some hotdogs, a few drinks and chat away until dark, but when kitty and i met we weren't really that hungry so we went somewhere and talked and talked and talked. when our tummies finally rumbled for nourishment, we decided to get our dogs. unfortunately, we got too carried away with our chat session and when we got to our hotdog stand, it was already closed wahhh!

kitty and i decided to go to mundo and get some pasta for dinner yumm! the same funny thing happened, we chatted the night away, and before we knew it, our waiter indirectly asked us to leave by handing us our bill, saying they have to close already. it seemed as if we weren't running out of things to talk about, kitty and i. we laughed as we left the resto, saying that the waiter must've been relieved that we finally left. i forgot to tell her about the toss coin bit so maybe next time when we hang out again, i'll do that. nice going girl, you gave me that idea in the first place!

i'm grinning as i type in this post, since i'm chatting with kitty over irc. we're thinking of meeting again, but time will tell when and where. it would start with "hey kitty, i'm hungry, wanna grab someting to eat?" i'm sure this line will make her laugh. i hope i'm not ruining your diet eheheh, maybe we'll talk over pizza next time. i've been craving for it for the past few days so what do you think?

anyway, it's getting early(4am?) so i'm going to finish writing here, thank kitty for that wonderful time and say, "it's been a while, carpe noctem", for now...

Temporary satisfaction

i'm sure everyone at one point in their peon-like existence has, in one way or another felt the euphoric pleasure of accomplishing a terrabyte like task. it's like atlas finally being relieved of the world off his shoulders, a titanic task being concluded.

before throwing out the confetti, lighting up the fireworks and bringing out the booze, better make sure the celebration isn't premature. i remember that phrase we excessively used back in high school, "you rejoiced to soon". just when you think that your problems are over, another one surfaces out of nowhere, it appears out of thin air, as if it's illegal for one to be happy even in the shortest of time. well? somebody out there must really hate me since it's happening to me regularly whheeee! the fates must be against me in, maybe in the next full moon, it'll all change.

ok enough with the garble, the gibberish and the nonsense. i find it frustrating at times, just when you're about to relish the victory, in comes another skirmish. ever had that feeling just when you're about to lick the sweet icing off a mouth watering pastry, it falls off your hand? makes one want to spurt out all kinds of happy words with funny characters when keyed in text like f#$k or whatever, kick the living heck out of a industrial size frying pan or much worse, a rice cooking pot hahaha.

ahh the ironies of life! there's this saying "what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger" right? allow me to rephrase in my own p.o.v.: "what doesn't kill us, makes us go insane". "welcome to the loony farm child, would you like your straight jacket to be neon green or with polka dots"? this'll make me a perfect candidate for patient number 12182001 at the local psych ward, and it comes with a cool 6'x6'x6' cell without windows, a bed and a toilet whee! open space to roll around drooling and wall space to bang my head, maybe that will put some sanity back.

these trials in our lives, well, mine specifically, are here to test my faith, strength and my sanity(i think this one failed miserably). with these hurdles, there's no run-around, backdoor or underhanded trick to pass by them. i think i'll just run them down instead, slap them in the face with a big ass "i will not quit". i got a rad quote from a movie i saw a few months ago, and it was "we fall down so we could learn to pick ourselves up". i think we should have this thought nailed to the back of our heads (ouch!).

PERSEVERANCE! this will get you through the jedi trials, welcome to the rank of jedi knight, padawan! i'm might be slighty overdoing the star wars thing a bit, it's nearly sunday and the empire strikes back will be on tv yippeeee!

my time does fly by, it's nearly the weekend and it's time for writing up my programmer's report for this week. i must say it's been four weeks since i've started working on my com project for the payroll software, and i'm ecstatic that we're finally dry running that component and ironing out the bugs. whew, time to get some well deserved rest. i know from sad experience that some people, seeing what you've done for them, don't really appreciate your work. you've made their job easier and what do they do in return, make more demands for this and that feature! yearrggggggg! a developer's life is not that simple. it takes time and a lot of burned brain cells, so please spare me the pressure. whoops! do i sense griping in this one?

it all adds up to this, i finished my task, i could've made a backflip but then my boss would permanently label me crazy. yipppeee! this accomplishment could and would lead to another task, so bring in on. i'll just sing " it's a bittersweet, symphony this life..." while tackling the next problem.

carpe noctem and don't let the bad bugs bite! kill the bugs!

Very amusing

i find the idea of teaching at my age quite interesting. first of all, it's a fun experience, and i only do it on weekends and second, (wait i think this should be the first) it's a chance to scrounge up some extra cash (sound of cash register opening!). fortunately there isn't any age gap issues because i'm three years older than my students. there isn't, is there? the only issue i can see is their course is not uh, very "technical". i find it a challenge though slightly hard to let them relate to the scripting and coding lessons taken up in class but we're getting somewhere.

funny, since some people have the idea that teachers are supposed to be old. i'm sure there are a lot of "battle hardened" veterans out there of whose wisdom we could all benefit from, but this is the new generation. there are a lot of up and coming educators that are rookies, but can also share their knowledge to their students. here's another funny thing, yesterday the new work student at the office wouldn't give me the keys to the lab because only teachers are allowed to get them. wahhh i had enjoyed the effort of convincing her that i was the teacher.

flashback! hmm, 2 years back i remember someone told me, "i'd like it if you grew your hair long again". oh well i did, unfortunately she'll never get to see her wish anyway, so i got a haircut and parted with my long black beauties. i didn't like the idea of hearing people say "you have longer hair than some of your students" and "how do you expect students to follow the dress code if you don't". ahhh fudge them, dress code schmess code, it's according to students' academic capability, not the clothes their wear?! this is the sad truth that some educators fail to heed. well, this is the point that i stop griping about this dress code issue and continue on with my post. hopefully the work student will give me the keys without any more complications next week.

it's goodbye ponytail and hello hair gel for me. time to get creative and mess up my hair haha. you might say i'm obsessed with my hair, since i have a hair care budget. it's been a year and a half since i last used gel, and i found out the gel i always used have changed it's name two times already(weird!). maybe for old times' sake i'll treat myself to some finesse hair care stuff... (very weird). i'm sure this move will make the hair god smile down on me. bless you, for you have purchased hair care goodies!

this just hit me, this is the first post i've done at 9pm, since most of them i did in the wee hours of the morning. ok just i'm bored, but shouldn't i be tweaking with my pet project at work? maybe in a while, the manaña habit is kicking again, thanks to my spanish ancestors. the good this is i got it working last friday, so i'll just have to iron out some bugs later. squish!

still bored...

yawn...

i look up the ceiling and see my "you should be working" sign, ah fudge it. i'm going outside to feed loft and kraken, to kill time. maybe i'll get entertained watching them feed and swim around. time to whip up another batch of super worms from the feeds box then.

saying out loud "i'm bored!" didn't help either. unfortunately my mum was passing by my room and heard me blurt that out, so she came in my room and said "bored? the dishes are waiting at the sink to entertain you" noooo! oh well it's off to the kitchen for me, i think i'll take my iriver with me so i can clean the dishes with the aura of l'amme immortelle's music in my head.

lesson learned for this evening: when you're bored, idle or whatever, keep it to yourself. lazy!

carpe noctem!

That thing about glasses

well? it has been a week of nonstop coding, and i'm near back dive point. some lessons i've learned in this "happy" crusade of mine, is to persevere, never give up, have faith, and whatever saying that i've left out. well, as my boss said, if we developers are the holy warriors, then the enemy are bugs, program bugs, that is. "kill the infidels!", then we all laughed.

a little humor while working to keep us from crossing, to the "dark side". mind you, how in the world could we key in our code if we're in straight jackets? there's a fine line dividing sanity and wearing straight jackets, and i prefer not to cross that in the meantime. well, maybe a skippity hop or two across sometimes wouldn't hurt. i plead guilty to temporary insanity your honor, could you make my jacket a polka dotted one?

all this stress caused my braincells to go on strike. sometimes i might be seen staring blankly at my monitor, my mind elsewhere on vacation without my body. surely, i couldn't afford both at this financial state of mine. like now...

(pause)

(pause still...)

now, back to the glasses thing. some people think that having glasses are geeky, nerdy or whatever but i find glasses, uh... nice? maybe that's an understatement. as far as i can remember (whoa! that's a feat for me!), i have this thing for girls wearing glasses. ask anyone who knows me very well (hmm i can count them with my fingers) . why? glasses make girls look more mature, jump them to the ladies "definition". having them stereotypes a person into being a brainy one right? well there's nothing more attractive than a girl who's smart.

maybe it's a fetish, *grins.

ok you might say i'm only saying that because *girl_a* or *girl_b* has glasses. could be, hey does *bleep* have glasses? hmm she looks great with them, the glasses accentuate her eyes and her cute nose. (bato bato sa langit, sana hindi lang siya ma tamaan). i'm sure this will start a controversy, who are the variable girls? happy guessing, and keep in mind, i might have made them up.

maybe (here i go again) one of these days, she might come across this post and say, "hey is this me?" feel free to leave a comment and i'd gladly tell you if it is. you like blogs remember? well this post might be for you then, because you look great with your glasses. whoops!

no more clues.

right now i wonder, it's 2 in the morning and i'm still racking my head on what to do to solve my program's problem. i'll probably wonder why i got glued to writing this post. maybe i just wanted to say that i liked seeing those glasses and the lady behind them, and i couldn't find a creative way of saying that, so i ranted it here. maybe i'll tell her the next time i see her hehe... maybe.

looking back, i think another someone would look great wearing glasses. i couldn't tell her that anyway.

i just realized i have a class 6 hours from now so carpe noctem. i'll be going to that place where nightmares infest my mind and then i'll wake up later all sweaty and in a bad mood. i might give a lab exam in class haha

*girls' names were changed to protect MY privacy (aha)

The irony of songs

at some insane instance a few years back, i got lazy (or too lazy in this case) and set my winamp playlist to autorun on my pc. well tonight, i think winamp got back to me with its shuffled playlist, but first a little background on why i had this specific post title.

going hmm, 57 years to the past, disney released their 12th animated feature film, cinderella. as we all know, this company is notorious for including a lot of songs into their toons, and i'd like to focus on a single song, "a dream is a wish your heart makes". for those not familiar with the lyrics, you can google it if you want to.

ok, back to the song. am i just griping again over something or someone? you bet can bet your monthly incentives on that because i am. why? waking up in the morning after dreaming on stuff that aren't and won't ever come true is sickening. just in the middle of the part where it all seems so real, woosh! i wake to the sad reality of my existence haha pathetic. it's as if i'm being haunted by these memories (why as if? i won't admit it for now *grins*). where's my memory lapse magic the gathering spell card? i sure could use one on me. anyway, this song only works for the happy people of wonderland, i guess. the last lines: "no matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true". well tell me o cinderella, i've been dreaming something fierce and still i'm in the same state. better for you since you have your fairy god mother and her wand of magic. how about me? is there like a genie or something who could zap up something nice for me?

haha give me a break, and please, let me sleep, it's my only relief from the endless suffering.

jumping to my winamp turning on me, it started playing two of my favorite songs, the end of heartache by killswitch engage, and the art of letting go by valley of chrome. hmm, music to crush an already broken heart? reflecting on their lyrics, i just think, maybe singing these both out loud might relieve some of the pain. guess again, it's almost two in the morning and my screaming results to my door being banged by my folks telling me to shut up. (turning on me yet i said those songs are my favorites, negate this, negate that!)

nothing like a breakup to derail the gravy train called love.

i hear another song playing, def leppard's when love and hate collide. my my, what does one do when these feelings lurk in the dark crevices of one's head? like a caged demon waiting to be unleashed, an unseen evil, whispering lies, spreading doubt, and sowing seeds of hate into the fertile grounds of our thoughts. it transforms one into a shadow of one's former self. hey, it's happening to me already... i feel the crops taking root. anyway, i do my best to keep my promises, so it's weeding time.

a great love can easily be turned into a great hate (is this even a statement?).

maybe i should go see a shrink.

maybe i should stop listening to these songs.

maybe i should rename this post to "the irony of maybe".

maybe i should heed my own advice to my friends, practice what i preach? a wise person once told me, "only you can help yourself". i'll tell that person later that the peso spent for telling me that was worth it.

maybe one of these days, i'll even tell another person that i kept my promises no matter what.

i'm tired, and sleepy. my code still isn't finished. it's not even working.

carpe noctem for now, and alt+tab back to coding.

New Year?

well, nothing like starting a new year with something new? hmmm... what to say? how about... a new blog? what to write in this blog? i have nooooo idea.

i was toying with the idea for quite some time and maybe now's the time to do so... a new blog, something to work on online if i have nothing else to do but write senseless rantings and thoughts of a troubled mind. first of all, it took me more than 20 minutes just to register to blogger yearrg! thanks to that rather large quake that rocked taiwan a few days ago, my internet connection is slower (how can i make slower uh... slower? UBER slow?) than usual. even cnn's headline regarding that, "taiwan quake sends the philippines to pre-internet days" made me laugh. back to the 1980's?

whew! maybe this year a miracle will happen and i'll get to have dsl (choir singing!). just thinking of the fast connection makes me grin. why? imagine what one can do with that speed? let's cruise the information superhighway, shall we?... whoops let's make a pitstop at isohunt.com. checking the new releases will surely occupy most of my freedom. it's kinda funny, now that i can afford dsl, guess what, there's no dsl connection here... back to the OLD dsl, (dialup sa landline) as my friend used to say. a whopping 31.2 kbps all to myself, very sarcastic. maybe a few prayers to the bandwidth god will boost up my speed, in my dreams.

i'm slightly stuffed right now, since i have been pigging out on the spag that we made this afternoon. it's digestion time, and maybe when there's cleared space in there, i'll help myself to some cake. there's nothing like pigging out on new year's eve. they say, that whatever you do on new year's eve, you'll be doing for the whole year. i guess i'll be eating spag, making blog entries and racking my brains on converting four php functions to visual basic then. the latter makes me wonder, are you still sane? quoting my mentor at work, he says, "you can do it, dude", and "take it slow, relax" and when i couldn't take it anymore he says "try doing a back dive" haha.

firefox 2.0 has a neat spell checking feature, i just noticed that it underlines "i'll", hmmm why? ooh... interesting, it allows "I'll" but not "i'll". ok i'm getting sidetracked! these issues on grammar and spell checks made me remember something, and i'm grinning right now. press f7 please!

i was watching episode iii: revenge of the sith's back to back premier on star movies a while ago, and just when the good part was about to start, obi wan kenobi's duel with the now twisted anakin skywalker, "only the sith rule in..." pffttt... brownout! whoopeedoo, the electric company decided to go a.w.o.l. on their services. looks like a BIG tree branch fell on a power line, again. that's their alibi. how about fixing the problem so i could finish watching the swish, swoosh and wungs or watever sounds light sabers make in action? as if i haven't watched episode iii for more than a dozen times already, which reminds me, where's my pirated vcd copy arrr...

this new year, i have quite a few resolutions... whoops, i made myself raise an eyebrow, resolutions you say? hahaha. it's been a good year, and the torrent trackers and seeders (pause, seeders... hahaha) have been very nice. all those downloads have made my hard drive cluttered will all kinds of stuff, so one of them will be to "arrange" my files and place them in proper order. this goes double for my .mp3's. all must follow the artist - album - track number leading zero - song title format. the artists have been busy releasing new albums... thanks for the freebies harharhar, viva la torrents!

here's another resolution, save up some cash (which is slightly difficult if one doesn't have something to start saving with) for my 14" aro, loft. he's been growing fast since i first got him last april. nothing like feeding your fish live lizards, super worms and chicken hearts to fatten him up. he's with my ornate dragon fin, kraken, ironic name since he's a wee bit smaller than what his name signifies. a nice 48" x 18" x 18" tank will give them both more living space.

something tells me that this is going to take some time, i've got like 23 years worth of blog entries still waiting to be posted hahaha.

looking back at what i've posted, i say to myself, i should have done this a loooooong time ago, or maybe this post is something that's been inside my head, that i wanted to get out. i'll save some thoughts for the next entries so they won't be bare, and that's just with my head. in my heart, there's something else...

it's three a.m. so maybe this is the part where i say, i'm getting sleepy, and i have a lot of code to finish so carpe noctem for now. (post says 7pm? i forgot to change the timezone)