this is a song by the group within temptation:
as i listened to the song, i wondered. i might have had a few angels of my own... just like the one in the song... enjoy reading... and to my angels, i ask: "what happened to your wings?"
Sparkling angel I believe
You were my savior in my time of need.
Blinded by faith I couldn't hear
All the whispers, the warnings so clear.
I see the angels,
I'll lead them to your door.
There's no escape now,
No mercy no more.
No remorse cause I still remember
The smile when you tore me apart.
You took my heart,
Deceived me right from the start.
You showed me dreams,
I wished they'd turn into real.
You broke a promise and made me realize.
It was all just a lie.
Sparkling angel, I couldn't see
Your dark intentions, your feelings for me.
Fallen angel, tell me why?
What is the reason, the thorn in your eye?
I see the angels,
I'll lead them to your door
There's no escape now
No mercy no more
No remorse cause I still remember
The smile when you tore me apart
You took my heart,
Deceived me right from the start.
You showed me dreams,
I wished they turn into real.
You broke a promise and made me realize.
It was all just a lie.
Could have been forever.
Now we have reached the end.
This world may have failed you,
It doesn't give you a reason why.
You could have chosen a different path in life.
The smile when you tore me apart.
You took my heart,
Deceived me right from the start.
You showed me dreams,
I wished they turn into real.
You broke the promise and made me realize.
It was all just a lie.
Could have been forever.
Now we have reached the end.
alas, i believe that all things do come to an end, and my time with my angels did too.
carpe noctem.
Friday, March 30, 2007
Friday, March 23, 2007
The day of mourning: recap
why is it that i think every year, my day gets worse than ever? i have this brooding feeling deep inside of me. it doesn't make any sense, as i have no idea what's the cause of this dark manifestation. every year, it's there. it's like an annual deep penance of some sort.
there are usually three parts to this so called uh, depression. the calm, the storm and the rainbow. i wonder if the third one actually arrives. it's one mental storm after another.
through the years, i've gotten used to the fact that my life is normal when there's something bothering me. i find it weird that i'll have a day without a problem, some kind of frustration, or any other negative feeling. that's just the way it is with me i guess. i wonder where this is leading to. i have one guess though: mental breakdown!
nothing like spending your birthday alone eh? well not alone physically, but maybe emotionally. most greetings are like empty shells, beautiful on the outside but with a void inside. after the greeting, it's gone. i'd like to point out that some weren't though. those are from people who cared about this lost soul, people who, have one way or another influenced, swayed, and changed the course of my life.
nah, it just must've been one of my days... i don't feel like writing much tonight so carpe noctem for now.
there are usually three parts to this so called uh, depression. the calm, the storm and the rainbow. i wonder if the third one actually arrives. it's one mental storm after another.
through the years, i've gotten used to the fact that my life is normal when there's something bothering me. i find it weird that i'll have a day without a problem, some kind of frustration, or any other negative feeling. that's just the way it is with me i guess. i wonder where this is leading to. i have one guess though: mental breakdown!
nothing like spending your birthday alone eh? well not alone physically, but maybe emotionally. most greetings are like empty shells, beautiful on the outside but with a void inside. after the greeting, it's gone. i'd like to point out that some weren't though. those are from people who cared about this lost soul, people who, have one way or another influenced, swayed, and changed the course of my life.
nah, it just must've been one of my days... i don't feel like writing much tonight so carpe noctem for now.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Total negligence?
so much for my plans of making my "fish" blog. work's taking over my life again yearrgg! anyway, i guess i'll never have a REAL rest from it unless i get sick, go blind, disabled or something. what a grisly thought, but i'll keep that in mind heheh.
a recap of my uh... so called weekend:
i've been thinking about getting myself a little something for my birthday. it's coming up in a few days and what better way to spoil myself than to get something hmmm "slightly expensive", something of use to me. how about... a small sling bag/pouch to store all my everyday stuff (mp3 player, cellphone, flash drive, rechargeable batteries). the truth is, i had one about a year ago and i cherished that bag (sentimental value). sadly, for no apparent reason, it, and the other stuff that were given to me by a certain someone, broke. ironic, but i must not stray off to another topic harhar. that's another story, so back to the bag thing. i talked to kitty last week and she suggested a brand, so off i went to the mall last sunday and looked for that bag. along with my pal zemperor, i browsed at the bags on display. grinning as i saw the big ass sign saying SALE, i continued checking out for a particular brand. (i'll write more about this later?)
i don't feel like writing my head out today...
it's as if... nah...
must be the stress, the pressure, the eystrain... i need a shrink!... "vhot do you see in ze picture?" or, "so tell me... vhot comes in to your mind vhen i say... ". hmm all these insanity will come to an end eventually. maybe all i need is something to bring me back to the real world harhar (phil. volley team spike?) nyahaha... whoops... ok too much info! yearggg! brain overload...
please excuse me for ranting, but what's this blog for anyway? maybe it's time to stop ranting and move to griping hehe..
anyway, tonight's kinda slow. i'm happy to say that my little minnow of an arowana is finally eating superworms. no more sleepless nights thinking that my new acquisition might be floating in the fish tank the next day due to starvation. my ornate dragonfin is doing well too.
hmmm...
say, i'm back to my old hobby of reading novels whee! zemperor and i were digging over at a used books store and we hit paydirt! two magic: the gathering novels (which i consider very rare), the shattered alliance and onslaught. this could only mean one thing: bookworm mode on! i have this "i don't stop reading 'till i finish the book" character and boy, i'm going to feel the effect sleep loss again. geek-o! whoopee, waitaminnit, who borrowed my nemesis novel? wahhh. i guess i'll be hitting the bookstores again next weekend , who knows what i'll find (hopefully that nintendo game guide i saw, guaranteed uber classic).
i'll cut short my entry today, i have to get back to my book hehehe...
carpe noctem for now. where's my captain bawang?
a recap of my uh... so called weekend:
i've been thinking about getting myself a little something for my birthday. it's coming up in a few days and what better way to spoil myself than to get something hmmm "slightly expensive", something of use to me. how about... a small sling bag/pouch to store all my everyday stuff (mp3 player, cellphone, flash drive, rechargeable batteries). the truth is, i had one about a year ago and i cherished that bag (sentimental value). sadly, for no apparent reason, it, and the other stuff that were given to me by a certain someone, broke. ironic, but i must not stray off to another topic harhar. that's another story, so back to the bag thing. i talked to kitty last week and she suggested a brand, so off i went to the mall last sunday and looked for that bag. along with my pal zemperor, i browsed at the bags on display. grinning as i saw the big ass sign saying SALE, i continued checking out for a particular brand. (i'll write more about this later?)
i don't feel like writing my head out today...
it's as if... nah...
must be the stress, the pressure, the eystrain... i need a shrink!... "vhot do you see in ze picture?" or, "so tell me... vhot comes in to your mind vhen i say... ". hmm all these insanity will come to an end eventually. maybe all i need is something to bring me back to the real world harhar (phil. volley team spike?) nyahaha... whoops... ok too much info! yearggg! brain overload...
please excuse me for ranting, but what's this blog for anyway? maybe it's time to stop ranting and move to griping hehe..
anyway, tonight's kinda slow. i'm happy to say that my little minnow of an arowana is finally eating superworms. no more sleepless nights thinking that my new acquisition might be floating in the fish tank the next day due to starvation. my ornate dragonfin is doing well too.
hmmm...
say, i'm back to my old hobby of reading novels whee! zemperor and i were digging over at a used books store and we hit paydirt! two magic: the gathering novels (which i consider very rare), the shattered alliance and onslaught. this could only mean one thing: bookworm mode on! i have this "i don't stop reading 'till i finish the book" character and boy, i'm going to feel the effect sleep loss again. geek-o! whoopee, waitaminnit, who borrowed my nemesis novel? wahhh. i guess i'll be hitting the bookstores again next weekend , who knows what i'll find (hopefully that nintendo game guide i saw, guaranteed uber classic).
i'll cut short my entry today, i have to get back to my book hehehe...
carpe noctem for now. where's my captain bawang?
Friday, March 16, 2007
Thish ish shparta!
what can i say... my pal king leonidas had some irish accent in him lol... more to come... just being lazy again. this has no place in spartan society so... timeout for now...
ok here comes the continuation!
look! body partsh flying around! a jab here, a jab there... harhar
i didn't allow for the chance to pass not to watch that movie, thank goodness i'm in day shift these days. logging out at exactly 6:01pm and rushing to the mall to watch the bloodbath really paid off. watching the killing was really a relaxing experience... maybe i was passively thinking that the same should be done to some people at work hehehe... hmm death by phalanx... i wonder if i could round up a couple of people who share the my sentiment... woooppsie!
i must say that they really grabbed that movie out of the novel itself. i came upon a blog a few weeks ago and it really compared the scenes and the novel pages, the similarity was hmmm in a mr. burns manner of saying "excellent" (rubbing hands together).
another thing i must point out, everything was in wooosh! fast-transition- wuuush... slow-mo... sort of like a "the matrix" style of movement. that really accentuated the violence... hmm and event the oracle's dance harharhar... and that... other scene... you know.
going back to violence, spartans really are bred for war. that part where they were killing off wounded persians while king leo was munching on an apple? very nice. it was if as though killing was a norm for them. "we've been sharing our culture with you this morning", nyahaha. tough as they were, the portrayals of those spartan boys brought them out as, hmm slightly arrogant. oh well, they did have the fighting prowess so i guess they earned the bragging rights.
by the way, what's with xerxes and the deep voice, body like a giant's, that attitude? soooo faggoty. that' a "god-king"? more like a gay king... anyways, he should have been this ruthless war-like king whatever, not that kind of uh, big guy but weakling thing.
the movie was slightly short, basing on the war scenes, so i'm hoping there'll be like 10,000 movie where the rest of the spartan army kicked persian behind. how about the other resulting battles? it's period movie season anyway so why not make a continuation or something?
by the way, 300 just kicked off gladiator as my all time blood spewing, limb dismembering, gut wrenching, and all other kinds of violence movie. woohooo kudos to the spartans.
will there be a celebrity deathmatch episode featuring maximus vs. king leonidas? that'd be soooo sweet. i'm crossing my fingers and toes for this. maybe i'll be given the privilege to witness this spectacle one of these days.
when's 300's dvd coming out? i want to get one hehehe...
fyi: somebody told me 300 wasn't gory enough. hmmm is that true or ehem, that somebody's violence level is just off the roof harhar.
ok the wait's over, i've watched the film. time to move on to the next movie, tranformers, coming july so.. only a few months more whoppee!!! i sure hope mr bay knows what he's doing. please, no blasphemy.
ok... this is carpe noctem, see you on july for the next uh... movie review.
ok here comes the continuation!
look! body partsh flying around! a jab here, a jab there... harhar
i didn't allow for the chance to pass not to watch that movie, thank goodness i'm in day shift these days. logging out at exactly 6:01pm and rushing to the mall to watch the bloodbath really paid off. watching the killing was really a relaxing experience... maybe i was passively thinking that the same should be done to some people at work hehehe... hmm death by phalanx... i wonder if i could round up a couple of people who share the my sentiment... woooppsie!
i must say that they really grabbed that movie out of the novel itself. i came upon a blog a few weeks ago and it really compared the scenes and the novel pages, the similarity was hmmm in a mr. burns manner of saying "excellent" (rubbing hands together).
another thing i must point out, everything was in wooosh! fast-transition- wuuush... slow-mo... sort of like a "the matrix" style of movement. that really accentuated the violence... hmm and event the oracle's dance harharhar... and that... other scene... you know.
going back to violence, spartans really are bred for war. that part where they were killing off wounded persians while king leo was munching on an apple? very nice. it was if as though killing was a norm for them. "we've been sharing our culture with you this morning", nyahaha. tough as they were, the portrayals of those spartan boys brought them out as, hmm slightly arrogant. oh well, they did have the fighting prowess so i guess they earned the bragging rights.
by the way, what's with xerxes and the deep voice, body like a giant's, that attitude? soooo faggoty. that' a "god-king"? more like a gay king... anyways, he should have been this ruthless war-like king whatever, not that kind of uh, big guy but weakling thing.
the movie was slightly short, basing on the war scenes, so i'm hoping there'll be like 10,000 movie where the rest of the spartan army kicked persian behind. how about the other resulting battles? it's period movie season anyway so why not make a continuation or something?
by the way, 300 just kicked off gladiator as my all time blood spewing, limb dismembering, gut wrenching, and all other kinds of violence movie. woohooo kudos to the spartans.
will there be a celebrity deathmatch episode featuring maximus vs. king leonidas? that'd be soooo sweet. i'm crossing my fingers and toes for this. maybe i'll be given the privilege to witness this spectacle one of these days.
when's 300's dvd coming out? i want to get one hehehe...
fyi: somebody told me 300 wasn't gory enough. hmmm is that true or ehem, that somebody's violence level is just off the roof harhar.
ok the wait's over, i've watched the film. time to move on to the next movie, tranformers, coming july so.. only a few months more whoppee!!! i sure hope mr bay knows what he's doing. please, no blasphemy.
ok... this is carpe noctem, see you on july for the next uh... movie review.
Sunday, March 4, 2007
Busy Is An Understatement v2.0
talk about being busy.
well here i am again after nearly a month of uh... "inactivity". it seemed that the word rest didn't quite exist in my vocabulary for the month of february. dumdeedee what to do now? it's idle time as a feverishly tap on my keyboard while making this post. defining idle time? it's me being in a state of doing nothing or not yet doing nothing. if i were on my nest (bed) right now, i'd fall asleep for sure.
i'm enjoying this shortlived vacation, thanks to the chest pains i've been having for the past days. the doc said i'd take some days off and well what do you know, it's the friggin weekend. i'll skip work tomorrow since i have a few lab exams lined up, hopefully they'll be done by lunch time so i'll have the afternoon to rest (rest?). it makes me want to think where i got these ailments but what the hell, i got a few days off in return. maybe i'm just stressed out, or maybe i just want to inflict physical pain on a certain s.o.b. (funny, since yesterday the attendant at the clinic abbreviated my ailment as shortness of breath haha).
ok sickness aside, i'm (we) are finally starting on project stepping-stone, so more details of this will be found on the "official" project stepping-stone blog, to be uh.. opened sometime this month. i must say that things are going smoothly for now, with a demo presentation due in a couple of days. i'm crossing my fingers that our clients will be impressed and hopefully seal the deal.
fish hobby update: last sunday, i finally found a replacement for my silver aro, a 5" australian golden arowana. i'm still thinking of a name to give the guy so bear with me. i'm still on the process of landscaping my tank so maybe i'll post a few pics after i'm through. i got two sacks of uh... #5 pebbles last friday i'm i spent the night cleaning and slowly placing them in the tank. tank 2.0 looks quite lived in now with the "minnow" and tree of my surviving albino pleco's. i also got my steel aquarium stand for my 24" x 18" x 18", made by a friend of mine. i'll be setting up the other tank within this week. this will be the temporary home of my 9" ornate dragon fin.
hmmm what else?
who's charlotte? heheheh... one clue: she sings like an angel
i need a vacation! i finally got my six (6 GID!) vacation leave credits and i'm looking for a nice remote beach to spend them on. these days of solace will do me good. i hope this future vacation will invigorate me whoopee! one problem though, i'm kinda low in monetary supply as of now so this will have to wait. i have 6 months till my credits expire so hopefully i'll have enough kah-ching saved up for this, but i accept donations too heheh. anyone wanna come?
anyway, this is all for now i guess. i'll be daydreaming about my beach vacation until it becomes a reality. my birthday's coming up, and i'm crossing my fingers that some nice pal of mine will donate some "resources" for my planned trip hahaha.
carpe noctem.
well here i am again after nearly a month of uh... "inactivity". it seemed that the word rest didn't quite exist in my vocabulary for the month of february. dumdeedee what to do now? it's idle time as a feverishly tap on my keyboard while making this post. defining idle time? it's me being in a state of doing nothing or not yet doing nothing. if i were on my nest (bed) right now, i'd fall asleep for sure.
i'm enjoying this shortlived vacation, thanks to the chest pains i've been having for the past days. the doc said i'd take some days off and well what do you know, it's the friggin weekend. i'll skip work tomorrow since i have a few lab exams lined up, hopefully they'll be done by lunch time so i'll have the afternoon to rest (rest?). it makes me want to think where i got these ailments but what the hell, i got a few days off in return. maybe i'm just stressed out, or maybe i just want to inflict physical pain on a certain s.o.b. (funny, since yesterday the attendant at the clinic abbreviated my ailment as shortness of breath haha).
ok sickness aside, i'm (we) are finally starting on project stepping-stone, so more details of this will be found on the "official" project stepping-stone blog, to be uh.. opened sometime this month. i must say that things are going smoothly for now, with a demo presentation due in a couple of days. i'm crossing my fingers that our clients will be impressed and hopefully seal the deal.
fish hobby update: last sunday, i finally found a replacement for my silver aro, a 5" australian golden arowana. i'm still thinking of a name to give the guy so bear with me. i'm still on the process of landscaping my tank so maybe i'll post a few pics after i'm through. i got two sacks of uh... #5 pebbles last friday i'm i spent the night cleaning and slowly placing them in the tank. tank 2.0 looks quite lived in now with the "minnow" and tree of my surviving albino pleco's. i also got my steel aquarium stand for my 24" x 18" x 18", made by a friend of mine. i'll be setting up the other tank within this week. this will be the temporary home of my 9" ornate dragon fin.
hmmm what else?
who's charlotte? heheheh... one clue: she sings like an angel
i need a vacation! i finally got my six (6 GID!) vacation leave credits and i'm looking for a nice remote beach to spend them on. these days of solace will do me good. i hope this future vacation will invigorate me whoopee! one problem though, i'm kinda low in monetary supply as of now so this will have to wait. i have 6 months till my credits expire so hopefully i'll have enough kah-ching saved up for this, but i accept donations too heheh. anyone wanna come?
anyway, this is all for now i guess. i'll be daydreaming about my beach vacation until it becomes a reality. my birthday's coming up, and i'm crossing my fingers that some nice pal of mine will donate some "resources" for my planned trip hahaha.
carpe noctem.
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