The irony of songs

at some insane instance a few years back, i got lazy (or too lazy in this case) and set my winamp playlist to autorun on my pc. well tonight, i think winamp got back to me with its shuffled playlist, but first a little background on why i had this specific post title.

going hmm, 57 years to the past, disney released their 12th animated feature film, cinderella. as we all know, this company is notorious for including a lot of songs into their toons, and i'd like to focus on a single song, "a dream is a wish your heart makes". for those not familiar with the lyrics, you can google it if you want to.

ok, back to the song. am i just griping again over something or someone? you bet can bet your monthly incentives on that because i am. why? waking up in the morning after dreaming on stuff that aren't and won't ever come true is sickening. just in the middle of the part where it all seems so real, woosh! i wake to the sad reality of my existence haha pathetic. it's as if i'm being haunted by these memories (why as if? i won't admit it for now *grins*). where's my memory lapse magic the gathering spell card? i sure could use one on me. anyway, this song only works for the happy people of wonderland, i guess. the last lines: "no matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true". well tell me o cinderella, i've been dreaming something fierce and still i'm in the same state. better for you since you have your fairy god mother and her wand of magic. how about me? is there like a genie or something who could zap up something nice for me?

haha give me a break, and please, let me sleep, it's my only relief from the endless suffering.

jumping to my winamp turning on me, it started playing two of my favorite songs, the end of heartache by killswitch engage, and the art of letting go by valley of chrome. hmm, music to crush an already broken heart? reflecting on their lyrics, i just think, maybe singing these both out loud might relieve some of the pain. guess again, it's almost two in the morning and my screaming results to my door being banged by my folks telling me to shut up. (turning on me yet i said those songs are my favorites, negate this, negate that!)

nothing like a breakup to derail the gravy train called love.

i hear another song playing, def leppard's when love and hate collide. my my, what does one do when these feelings lurk in the dark crevices of one's head? like a caged demon waiting to be unleashed, an unseen evil, whispering lies, spreading doubt, and sowing seeds of hate into the fertile grounds of our thoughts. it transforms one into a shadow of one's former self. hey, it's happening to me already... i feel the crops taking root. anyway, i do my best to keep my promises, so it's weeding time.

a great love can easily be turned into a great hate (is this even a statement?).

maybe i should go see a shrink.

maybe i should stop listening to these songs.

maybe i should rename this post to "the irony of maybe".

maybe i should heed my own advice to my friends, practice what i preach? a wise person once told me, "only you can help yourself". i'll tell that person later that the peso spent for telling me that was worth it.

maybe one of these days, i'll even tell another person that i kept my promises no matter what.

i'm tired, and sleepy. my code still isn't finished. it's not even working.

carpe noctem for now, and alt+tab back to coding.