why is it that i think every year, my day gets worse than ever? i have this brooding feeling deep inside of me. it doesn't make any sense, as i have no idea what's the cause of this dark manifestation. every year, it's there. it's like an annual deep penance of some sort.
there are usually three parts to this so called uh, depression. the calm, the storm and the rainbow. i wonder if the third one actually arrives. it's one mental storm after another.
through the years, i've gotten used to the fact that my life is normal when there's something bothering me. i find it weird that i'll have a day without a problem, some kind of frustration, or any other negative feeling. that's just the way it is with me i guess. i wonder where this is leading to. i have one guess though: mental breakdown!
nothing like spending your birthday alone eh? well not alone physically, but maybe emotionally. most greetings are like empty shells, beautiful on the outside but with a void inside. after the greeting, it's gone. i'd like to point out that some weren't though. those are from people who cared about this lost soul, people who, have one way or another influenced, swayed, and changed the course of my life.
nah, it just must've been one of my days... i don't feel like writing much tonight so carpe noctem for now.
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